#0090 | holding on is tough

Hang in there. Things will get better. Or worse. But it will be something.

Beautiful haiku. Definitely captured the feeling.

Wow, this is an amazingly powerful and poetic note that inspired your Haiku. And the Haiku does the note justice. Great work.

Agreed, and agreed.

Everyone must make their own decision, but for my parents, quitting was the best thing they ever did.

I want to stay, and I want to go too.
I have never been so confused.
She is a wonderful person, but her expectations compromise who I am…. Tonight I left.

We argue a lot. She suggests divorce within a minute or two of arguing. I don’t know if that is what she wants or if that is what she fears. She is willing to throw it all away if she doesn’t get what she wants it seems. She is the only person I know more bull headed than me.

I am not a quitter. I am not afraid to spill my guts out if that is what is required. The only thing I fear is trapping her, and taking years away from her that could otherwise be either happy or in the pursuit of happiness. I fear the same for myself too though. I just wait to hear what she decides- as we both know that is the factor.

I feel what you have said haiku, but it does nothing for my state of confusion. Nothing worth having comes without struggle, but why would someone struggle to continue struggling?

damn the confusion. I need a short-cut to the core of worth and value without diversions. I never thought I would be here and therefor no planning, consideration or contingency exist- which is out of my character.

care to give advice?

Great combination of words and image…

quietly…I think you needed to step back from the situation in order to get a fresh perspective.

You need to see life without her and she needs to see and feel that too.

I’m doing the same adjustment myself and it’s the second time I’ve had to do it.

I believe in the one true love but I fear I have mistaken my last relationship for it………..time and my heart will tell.

I haven’t always been a great husband or father. But now that I’m older and I have made changes to myself and my way of thinking, I now see that we are wrong for each other. She will never forgive me for my past mistakes and she will never be the love of my life.
I stayed due to feelings of obligation towards the kids. But 15 years have gone by and I still don’t have the love for you that you so desperately want and deserve. I never will.
We yell and curse and hurt and threaten…what example are we setting for our children?
It’s over.

So I happened to stumble upon this website. But moreover the haiku hit really close to home.

Over the past couple of weeks, an old girlfriend and I have been “fighting”, i guess you could say. I broke up with her about year and a half ago, and broke her heart, really bad, because i needed “space”. I was a junior in college, playing football and had a job on top of that, I just was spread too thin, and she never understood what football meant to me. She never had a passion for something like that, like I did. I mean basically for the past four years of college I have slept, ate and drank football. It has been everything I have done.

But she has also been my everything, she’s the person I knew, that after two months of dating, that I could actually spend the rest of my life with. And that’s how I still feel today.

After I broke up with her, I’ve hooked up with a couple of girls and I’ve dated three others, but none of them have amounted to what she meant to me.

While we have both been “friends” since I broke up with her (it took a lot of time to heal, for both of us). About four weeks ago I started to fall for her again, and it has been a struggle for a long time, for both of us. But she comes back with, I’m seeing someone else, a serious blow to the heart. But I guess I deserve it since I broke hers…

And I tell her that I started to fall for her again, she tells me she loves me, and we both cry, and I tell her that she is the person I could spend the rest of my life with, she says she wants to be with me, and we both cry, and I hold her closely, she grabs on even tighter, and we both cry.

But in the end, she chose her new man, and that made me so angry, because I opened my heart up to her, and she crushed it.

So over this weekend she says she’s going to call me to talk, she promises, she never calls, and I found out as opposed to calling me, she went out with her new man. Making me furious.

But at about 4:30 in the morning on saturday, I came to an epiphany, something that I’ve always said to her, “is that if we’re meant to be together, we will be together”, sounds like a hopeless romantic quote, but it isn’t. I told her that I needed to let her go, that me and her are at two completely different points in our lives, she’s student teaching, I’m doing business and going to Europe with my friends over the summer. And that it was either now…or never that we were probably never going to cross paths again, and I told her that I needed to let her go, and she needed to do the same to me.

And in the end, I felt relieved, I felt like there was something lifted off of my shoulders, that we weren’t going to hurt each other anymore. I finally had a smile on my face, which is something I haven’t had in a couple of weeks. I told her that I loved her, what she meant to me, and that if she ever needed anything, that she could always call me, no matter what.

That was it, but I hope not, I hope we do cross paths again, that we fall in love all over again, like it’s the first time, that we do get married, that we do have children. I know deep in my heart that if what we had, is meant to be, then we will be together…

(I’m sorry if that’s long winded, and maybe pointless, but it felt good to write it all out.)

BK………..you made me cry. If only you had that passion for her instead of the football, i think we could safely say we would never of heard from you.

I believe in love as you do, i really believe that he and i should be together……lets see if the energies allow this to occur for my situation and your’s…..

Sunrise, I think for both you and me, in the end it will work out, maybe not the way we intended, but that life will find its way to making us all happy.

And my passion for football, has made me more passionate of a person, it has taught me respect, sacrifice and in reality, Love.

My whole thing with me and her, which was the breaking point for our relationship, was that she didn’t understand that I had to wake up at 6 in the morning to go lift, or SACRIFICE my entire weekend for football, for that matter. And I would have hung out with her until 5:59 am, or every waking moment that wasn’t generated towards football or school, but it just became too much. She would ask me to do things i would tell her that I had football, and she would be like so, just cut it or tell them you have something else to do.

I didn’t mean anything slanderous by your passion for your dream. Ther is nothing wrong with that…..life’s about being able to dream and making those dreams come true.

if she couldn’t support that, then maybe being apart is best? What else would you have to compromise?

I think i need to let go….I spent the day crying, as I heard from my ex- that he is falling for someone else, although he says he’s not ready and still misses me (this would bot be the first time)

Now that I think of it holding on is too hard and what is it i’m waiting for?

I know you didn’t mean anything wrong by it, I was just explaining it, I’m sorry if I came off defensive

But with your ex, that’s how I felt, and in reality I think it’s harder to let go, then to hold on. Because they can string you along, and tell you they love you and what not, and either do it because they don’t want to hurt you, or because they don’t want to lose you.

And I’m almost positive that my ex is going to fall for her new man, if she hasn’t already, he’s a military boy, and I know that’s what she’s always wanted, I mean I’ve talked about entering the military, and she’s like call me up, I’ll marry you immediately, jokingly of course.

To let go sometimes, is a reprieve, it will hurt of course, but sometimes it will also make you feel better. And when you do let go, when you’re not around for him, he’ll know what he gave up, and how much of an idiot he was, I know I am…

Well this is my last day of mourning my loss, as the grieving cycle goes…I’m going to skip some stages and move straight to acceptance. If it’s supposed to be it will be.

It’s good to talk it out though, especially with men, I get to view it from a perspective I alas no little about. Maybe that’s were I’m going wrong?!?

It’s good to talk things out, it brings a lot of things to light that you may have not really thought about or even seen, originally.

I like how you’re just going to skip some stages though, that’s a pretty gutsy move.

And you’re not going wrong, men know as little about what women are thinking as women know what men are thinking, it’s a vicious cycle. haha